


Caring for Your Pet Joiner

by ACelestialDream



Category: Star Wars: The Old Republic
Genre: Gen, Humor, Joiners, SWTOR
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-03
Updated: 2013-02-03
Packaged: 2017-11-27 23:55:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/667927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ACelestialDream/pseuds/ACelestialDream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Congratulations! You’ve caught yourself a Joiner. This guide will inform you of how to keep your Joiner safe, healthy and happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Caring for Your Pet Joiner

**Author's Note:**

> Some silliness inspired by the quest on Republic-side Alderaan that asks you to capture a Joiner and bring him in for questioning.

Congratulations! You've caught yourself a Joiner. This guide will inform you of how to keep your Joiner safe, healthy and happy.

Please make sure your Joiner's restraining collar is securely fastened and well-padded so it does not chafe. Give your Joiner a comfortable place to sleep, clothes to wear, plenty of food and water and your Joiner should give you a lifetime of companionship.

Q: What do I feed my Joiner?  
A: You may feed your Joiner the same food you eat. Joiners also enjoy ration bars.

Q: My Joiner keeps me awake at night, singing. How can I make him stop?  
A: After an exciting day, your Joiner may want to sing about it. Putting him in the shower (or any place with good acoustics) before bedtime may encourage your Joiner to get his singing out at a time more convenient to you.

Q: My Joiner just stares at the wall for hours at a time. Is there something wrong with him?  
A: Your Joiner is just "communing with the hive." Do not disturb him.

Q: I have guests coming over. Will my Joiner be ok around strangers?  
A: Most Joiners are friendly and obedient. They also make great conversation starters! Your Joiner will be happy to entertain you and your guests for hours talking about songs, auras, scents and other oddities.

Q: My Joiner is unusually violent and aggressive. Did I do something wrong?  
A: As long as you are treating your Joiner well, you are doing nothing wrong. You probably have caught a Joiner from a war-like hive. Release your Joiner and try to catch a new one at a different location.

Q: My Joiner came with a weird staff and seems particularly well skilled in combat. Is this the same thing?  
A: You may have encountered a Dawn Herald. If you survive the meeting, return this type of Joiner immediately to the exact place where you found him.

Q: Sometimes I feel really attached to my Joiner and extra friendly towards him. Is this ok?  
A: Your Joiner may be releasing pheromones which are influencing you. This means your Joiner likes you and wants to bond with you! If you are uncomfortable about this, a little time apart from your Joiner should bring things back to normal.

Q: Sometimes my Joiner makes sexual advances towards me, when he's not normally like this. What's going on?  
A: Don't be alarmed. Your Joiner's hive is most likely conducting their fertility ritual (Dawn Rumble) and your Joiner is experiencing it from afar. Feel free to be affectionate with your Joiner, or give him lots of privacy at this time.

Q: My Joiner has fingerlings. How do I get rid of them?  
A: Fingerlings live in a symbiotic relationship with your Joiner and are not harming him. You can safely do nothing.

Q: My Joiner talks to himself a lot. Is he crazy?  
A: Your Joiner probably has fingerlings. See above.

Q: My friend says he knows a guy whose fingerlings laid eggs in his cheek and then they hatched and crawled up his nose and ate his brain. Will this happen to me?  
A: This is an urban legend and will not happen to you.

Q: My Joiner is getting to be too much to handle. What do I do with him?  
A: You may bring your Joiner to any Imperial Science Bureau outpost with no questions asked between the hours of 8:00 GST and 18:00 GST. Do not leave your Joiner unattended outside the building during non-business hours, as the Science Bureau will not be responsible for missing Joiners. Do not perform your own science experiments on your Joiner! Please leave this to the professionals.

Q: What if I don't live under Imperial jurisdiction?  
A: Release your Joiner immediately back into the wild during the night in a remote location. Doing otherwise may subject you to jail time.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [How to take your droid out for a stroll in the park](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6116276) by [Harif](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harif/pseuds/Harif)




End file.
